The start of this year was a handicap match between me and the combined forces of apathy, stress, paranoia, and other weird stuffs around the office.
Friday, January 8, 2010.
Boredom was killing me. Not because I was lazy that day but because I had a nil workload and I just had to smoke a lot every hour; rename my personal MP3s; investigate how to make a baby boy; and search how high the humidity in Chile is. So I darted out of our building and walked off to Ace Hardware to buy some bricks of cocopeat. It was way better than to be idle for 9 hours and squeeze my brain out to come up with something meaningful to accomplish. I also had the chance to explore the store for the type of fluorescent bulb that I need for my rack. No luck.
I got this presentiment since December that our department would shave off some staffs due to some demented grounds that I won’t write here. I was certain that I won’t be one of the “nominees for the eviction night” because I know to myself that I am efficient, productive and I am a good employee. But of course, you can never tell what will happen in a quick twist of fate so I was still considering that I might be in the verge of losing my job and ending up wearing long sleeves and tie again, roaming in Ayala, looking for a new career.
As I was striding back to our building, I was calculating in apprehension the value of my tarantulas, my toys (keyboards and other musical shit), and my laptop that I discerned I will put up on sale in case the portent of mine won’t botched up. My mind’s gone astray and I didn’t notice I’d already crossed the Buendia – Makati Avenue intersection and found myself in the wild side of Brgy. Bel Air. Fuck. So I just bought 18 pieces of monster pan de sal from a branch of Pan De Amerikana and realized that I didn’t even light a single stick of cigarette in my entire trip. Now that’s really odd.
When I re-surfaced in the after-office-hours scene, my supervisor told me that four people from our department, in our division, were retrenched from the company. And he’s still not sure about the stability of our production now and all the other shit that will come around.
Four people that I’ve worked with for years. Four friends I’ve laughed, shared in-sights, and shared NGs with, gone in my 41 minutes of substratum das Einkaufen and I could have been one of them.
I was saved.
But my nightmare won’t stop there. I know the monster is still rising.
I can still pay for our electricity, water, cable, and Internet bills. I can still ride a taxi from Kennon Road to St. Francis Square. I can still eat Wendy’s Chicken Fillet sandwich with fries and Frosty every weekend. And I can still buy a new pair of pants with 9 pockets next month.
I still have a job.
But for how long?
This is gonna be a tough year for me. Bring out the popcorn and turn off the lights now.