Pinoy Cursing

My neighbor was scolding HER son:

Putang-ina mo Joey! Umuwi ka do’n!

Isn’t she aware of what she’s saying?

Cursing is undeniably a constant fragment of our culture. The only unnoticed perplexity is that the greater populace curse on to something or someone without even apprehending what the hell they’re uttering about.

Would you say “Tite mo!” to a bitchy woman who told you you’re an asshole for accidentally stepping on her foot inside a crowded car of MRT? Well, I will because that’s one of my expressions. But it’s not proper.

Even foul language has its apt place and time of usage. It’s all about understanding the meanings and executing well.

You don’t say “son of a bitch” to a little girl who just stole your mobile phone while you were walking in front of A-Venue. “Anak ng puta” is more likely your shout out since “anak” does not specifically address on the gender of whom you’re cursing to. You insulted her at the same time by calling her mother a puta. Get it?

Attaching “non-living things” like tokwa, tinapay, or walis to “anak ng” is inappropriate. Self-explanatory.

Don’t use leche anymore. It’s for our grandmothers and it “basically” means “milk” in Spanish. It’s not offensive at all.

Terms like “gago/gaga” and “ulol” are merely applied for cussing on the streets so you’ll hit the ordinary people directly to their nerves.

“Manong, pabili nga po ng isang Fortune lights… gago ka kasi.”

“Tangina” is a shortcut for “putang-ina” which revolutionized to “puta”, “puchang ina”, “pucha” then nowadays to “pusang ina”, “pusang gala”, “pusa ka”, “puto” and then “putek”. The last five words are not even close to the original meaning but as long as the taker of it hears the stressed syllable pu, he/she will get the point.

“Puki ng ina mo” is another way of affronting someone though it is just secondary to “putang-ina” that has less syllables. The latter is easier and faster to say. But if you are alone and not aiming for someone, you can just say “puki ng ina”. Or for a cute variation: “puki ng iba”.

“Amp” is a short, faddish version of “ang putang-ina” or “amputa”. I’ve been hearing this word a lot lately and though it is unconventional, the fact that it became the newest wrinkle in swearing and turning into a jargon, it’s cool.

If you are the cono or yuppie type, use English to cast out the evil in you. It will not sound as ugly as what it means.

“Fuck” is one established word that’s perfectly right for the middle-aged and adult people. Though it is unpleasant if said in Tagalog, it will do the job right. Sex is sacred for most people here in the Philippines because we are known to be a conservative country for fuck’s sake (the hypocrites are smiling now).  That’s why saying fuck is a nice vulgar way to express your sudden anger or dismay.

You are walking in Divisoria when you noticed that your bag is open: “Oh fuck! My backpack!” Or “My backpack! Fuck! Fuck!”

Don’t over do it. Never say it more than twice and don’t forget to say it right too. Be fluent. Stressing it incorrectly like “pak yu” or “watdapak” will make you seem like a preppy wannabe just riding with the flow. Unless… you intend to say it that way. Give a meaningful smile after if  you want to purposely mispronounce it.

Probably, the most popular in the filthy dictionary is [altogether]

S H I T

It sounds dirty and it means literally dirty too. I don’t know why a fecal matter became a profane piece of slang for the society and the world we live in. Everybody says shit and we hear it every day.

Say it quick or else you’ll be misunderstood referring to “sheet”. Be articulate on your diction. “Syet” or “siyet” will make you sound like you’re from the Ilocos Region or the nearby provinces (exemption if you really are).

There’s also the Brit way: “Shite.”

A common mistake is combining it with “fuck” for it doesn’t make sense at all.

“Fuck shit”, “paksyet”, “paking syet” is a big no-no.

The only setback now is it is so overused. Saying “shit” is like breathing. That’s why some Filipinos translated it in Tagalog so it will sound completely different but the spirit is still there.

But of course there are always the “alternatives” for everything.

Cursing will always be a part of exchanging information and ideas with other individuals. Do remember that we live in this small and free world that is getting crowded and crowded everyday. We all have the right to speak about whatever we think and express whatever we feel about anything under the same sun. Just be safe in cussing to avoid conflicts and damaging pus with others. Be responsible with your masturbating words.

HIT ME

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