Riding The Happy Horse

Most of my friends don’t believe me when I say that there is a “Happy Horse” in every case of Red Horse Beer bought. Then see for yourselves people.

Can you spot the difference?

This is your regular Red Horse Beer.

And of course, this is the “Happy Horse”. Self-explanatory.

Claims say that “Happy Horse” has more alcohol content and gives a stronger “kick” than the normal Red Horse Beer that we love to drink. I did research about its history and here’s what I found:

Way back in 1984, A German ex-soldier turned chef was so drunk (after consuming five bottles of Red Horse) in a bar in Ermita, Manila and started giving shit to people. He was causing trouble so the bar owner called the police who then arrived in the venue to stop the man from hurting anyone. He was already becoming violent and the guard was nowhere to be found.

Two policemen came: SP01 Jojo Yabut and P01 Martin Ambigay. They had a hard time calmly talking to the inebriated foreign guy because there’s a language barrier since that German chef, of course, couldn’t speak Tagalog and worse, he could just only speak a little English. He’s also bigger than the two Filipino law enforcers that they had to use extra power to drag him outside. They succeeded though they created a big scene. A lot of bystanders and passing gimikeras stopped at what they were doing just to watch the “show” in the street: two policemen were suddenly abusing their powers and brutally throwing punches in the face of an intoxicated and defenseless foreigner until two teeth from guy’s mouth fell out. There was blood, there were wounds, and a broken foreigner’s face. It was wicked.

It all went down in jail. The front desk chief policeman was doing an interview with the suspect turned victim:

Policeman: Why did you make trobol?

German: (insert German cussing here) !!!

Policeman: Why did you so much drinking?

German: (insert German cussing here) strong beer!!!

Policeman: Teka, what beer is you saying?

German: (insert German cussing here again) ha…ppy… horse!!!

Policeman: Happy … what?!  Kam ageyn, Joe. Kam ageyn.

Then the drunken German chef just smiled.

The report reached San Miguel Corporation and then they came up with an idea of creating a stronger version of Red Horse Beer that will deliver a more powerful “thrust” to the drinkers and will make them crazily smile after.

Happy Horse was born.

But the SMC didn’t tell anyone about it. They secretly and randomly distributed HH with the help of their machines. Luck will just lead it to you. So sometimes you might find one, two, or no Happy Horse in every case of Red Horse Beer sold.

That’s why when you’re fortunate to come across and grab a bottle of Happy Horse in your drinking sessions, take a little time to remember the wasted German chef who lost teeth and shed blood that lit the wick for the invention of that marvelous booze.

Mabuhay ang Happy Horse!

And of course this is a corny and non-sense story that I just made up in order to make this post long. Here’s really the truth about the Happy Horse.

Some other finds here and here.

HIT ME

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