I had not written this here but it’s been a year since my wife had a type of pregnancy called blighted ovum. She had a normal-appearing gestational sac seen in the ultrasound but an embryo didn’t develop after some weeks. Cez eventually underwent a D&C procedure to remove the empty sac in her uterus.
That time, I didn’t know how to comfort her for the loss of a baby that we didn’t actually had. But I did feel for her. It’s devastating for a mother to happily expect for a child and would end up lying in the operating room with the doctor scraping and scooping her uterus to take the blank sac out. It’s way harrowing than watching the Pirates of the Caribbean film series for a week. And worse, there’s really nothing we could do to stop it from happening.
C quit her job after her maternity leave to respite from graveyard shifts, which we blamed for the stress and bad genes. The incident also gave her (and me) a slight dismay of having a baby again. We took a weekend off in Sariaya after the surgery with family and friends to relax a bit then we went back to Manila and moved on.
I sometimes wonder and ask “what ifs” to myself. I imagine how would it feel if it was a normal pregnancy and there’s a seven-month old little me or C beside me now, whom Ziann is playing with. We might be happier. I also sometimes feel vacant and out of sorts just remembering our quandaries inside room 307. We had wasted time and effort just to make everything better but we still ended up tired and hurt. We dealt with that certain kind of stress that we don’t want to meet again. We faced the “health service” hassles that we couldn’t have been settled if it wasn’t for PhilHealth and a very cool doctor.
But even though the plight might have caused us pain and some small agonies, the most important thing was, it somehow changed our lives. It somehow made both of us stronger.