Dealing With Animals

An almost entirely distressing September just came and went and all those shit that our neighbors brought us took me to the point that I have finally conceived what they really are.

Based precisely on their horrid reputations and how they acted in the past few weeks, I want to mouth my thought in their equally ugly faces that they don’t have breeding. But then I realized that telling them so and comparing them to dogs is indeed a big insult… for the latter.

Now, being disrespectful, especially to an elderly woman isn’t my thing. It’s not also my fucking mug of beer to lower myself to people animals whose intellects are not even an eighth of mine. So I will probably just let the Lupong Tagapamayapa settle things up though I’ve already consulted to a lawyer about this and he said that if the Barangay mediation fails, the evil party can be made liable for the laws that they’ve already broken. That I can’t wait to happen.

The issue, by the way, isn’t closed yet. In fact, it surprisingly triggered the enemies to dig some unapt arguments that are way out of the main concern. Well, nobody’s impeding them so they can freely sue me (if they want) for being rude and for insulting their mother. On the other hand, I can present all my evidences which adamantly bear out the facts that they are clearly lying. It is as simple as that and take note: EVIDENCES. Plural.

Anyway, I won’t elaborate much on the irrelevant topics like: the cases that I will file in court (supported with more than a hundred proofs of their atrociousness – in audio and video formats); their stupid reasons; and their lack of basic comprehension. The main point here is, as long as there’s a barking dog; charivari; garbage speaker; and motorcycle noises in front of our and our tenants’ units, that disturb our sleeps and normal businesses, it’s wrong and it is fucking against the law. You don’t have to read books to understand that. It’s common sense.

OK imbeciles, for your assignment, search for the following terms, write the definitions in a sheet of yellow paper and and then drown yourselves in your stinking pozo negro.

Alarms and scandals

Abatement of nuisance

Holographic will

Conjugal property

Oral defamation

Grave threat

Malicious mischief


Morals of the story:

1. Iguanas (Iguana sp.) and Sailfin lizards (Hydrosaurus sp.) are different species. It is so moronic to have a pet lizard for years without even knowing what it really is. Another thing, lizards don’t bark like dogs. Nobody would complain a boring reptile that doesn’t even make noise.

2. Double check your grammar when posting a Facebook status. Writing something like “Sakim ay sakit na walang lunas.” (Greedy is a disease that can’t be cured) only shows how you easily graduated high school in Recto University.



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